Why I stay

1.
every day you wake me
with a gentleness
I did not know you possessed

every day
you are waiting at the door
like clockwork,
stamping your feet
on the frozen ground,
smiling grimly
with your bone white teeth

2.
there is a restlessness going around,
something I think
borne of this winter air

I am filled with a longing
not lustful, nor painful,
but rather like a constant
pulling
from every direction


3.
as if the particles themselves
that compose my body
are becoming detached

tired of the tension, the constant
push to shove
necessary
to deserve your love